Living in the moment and memory loss

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Daily you can hear and read across the world of those who proudly “live in the moment”, but do they?Working with clients who have dementia or any form which has taken the memories from the conscious mind, truly do “live in the moment”. Without a sense of yesterday or tomorrow and yet they still might hold memories of early in life. Family children who might resemble a face they still remember, often become attached in thought to a prior time through the child. Events of early in life become the present thoughts and yet, yesterday in the present sense fails to register in the senses.

The daughter of a client of mine decided to take her mother to a wedding where familiar faces would be seen. A new dress was bought and Mama attended the wedding conversing with others, even took to the dance floor with movement impressing other guests. A wonderful night of social interaction and a time for mother and daughter to experience time together as they had so many times in the past. Forty-eight hours later, all memory of the night has faded from the memory of Mama. Her daughter feeling such a loss for her Mama in having such an outstanding night and now without memory felt saddened by the outcome. I spoke with her daughter, understanding the hurt she was feeling reminded her of the memory her Mama gave her that night.





When the perception was changed from loss to what was given in the process a different perception can emerge for family and friends of those with memory loss. Time lines of our lives are built on memory markers we gather along the way, births, school years, weddings, events of joy and sometimes sadness which create the memory of life. With memory loss of someone close, when you are willing to step into the “moment” with a person who no longer carries a time line of life as it is known the moment becomes continuous in what is given and received. Gather all which is given in the continual moment of memory loss without expectation, grief or sadness of loss. Accept the gift of a smile, a moment they laugh for no reason at all, a grandchild which is seen as the child of long ago – accept the moment. This is where they reside and these are the events of “living in the moment”. Hug them, love them, and allow the gift of memory to be with you in grace.

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