Open window of spirit in Alzheimers

I was sitting yesterday with Peaches, my Alzheimer’s patient on a day when putting two words together was a frustration and struggle. Her day was filled with a continual taxing and pounding of herself in not being able to function as she chose too. Although I see her every few days, the acceleration of this time in life seems to be on a fast track slipping from conscious thought to no thought at all being able to express in words as desired. Continually moving around as if running a race in keeping from the grip Alzheimer’s has placed on her, a rag in one hand dusting everything she touches as if object and dust rag will keep a connection open to all she has known becoming unknown. 

Being one who finds game in not taking medication as if the pills were her nemesis in the struggle and yet from her years in the nursing field completely understanding nutrition can be her asset as well. We spent a good deal of time viewing the woods from her dining room window as she repeatedly pointed out the number of trees dying in the woods being more pronounced in a Winter setting. A few minutes later, she would try to outline the property line in the backyard of her home as if the lines were safety at this time.

To create a baseline with the speed of Alzheimer’s grip on her life, conversation seems to be key or lack of such at times. I have heard the stories many times over that, she tells and yet treat each as if the first time knowing this time is once again the first time in her telling. Occasionally, she will start a story and state “I have already told you that story so I will move on.” A sign transmission here and there is still connecting long term with short-term memories. Yesterday as she sat down for a few moments from her dusting the room, 

Peaches showed signs of just not being able to put a sentence together and apologized as she gripped her hands together in her lap. Sitting very still and looking at her piano with pictures of family across the top she turned and said “Linda, what can I expect of Alzheimer’s?” The question was so crystal clear and yet coming from her on this day with such direction and straight forwardness in comparison to not being able to complete sentences, gave me goose bumps and knowing I only had moments myself to answer I just let the words be guided.

I asked her if she remembered going to school and how what she learned was done in a process that made the next grade seem like a natural step, with already being prepared from the grade before. Slow guided learning and no expectations of a first grader to know what a six grader knew. Spoke about how Alzheimer’s would take the same form of process in reverse. She would just be taking the grades in a form of losing the memory instead of making the memories for the next grade. Peaches is a devout Catholic and she was assured regardless of the memories lost in this life, all memories would still be there when she left this life and not to worry. She worries about God and not being able to attend church, I told her God would be in her heart and bring church to a mind, which no longer attends mass.

She worries about her not knowing her granddaughter in the future and we talked about how her granddaughter still knowing her, and her heart would always know the people she loves whether she could express this to the family in return or not. In the moments of yesterday, it was as if a window was opened by spirit to express her worries and give her the attention to receive answers, which have weighed on her thoughts. We finished by talking about a photo of her husband who died in 1999 and about how straight and tall he was in the photo, showing his strength in life to be secure and the humor in the smile he had. Shortly after, my time for the day had completed, I gave her a hug and let her know I would be back in two days. 

Today, I received a call, Peaches has chosen to enter a nursing home and the visits would be few in the future. She has been in hard resistance of being in a nursing home until this point or leaving the home, woods, property, and surroundings of over 50 years, which have created the ambience of peace in her life. What I do know, is yesterday this universe was with her, guided her and gave her the chance and strength to go forward on this path. A day I will not forget, long after she has forgotten in this life. Thank you for the time Peaches. You are in good hands.

Namaste’