Square pegs in round holes - remove the molds
I came upon the chance today of engaging in a conversation with a young woman at work during lunch. Very bright young woman who struggles with depression, has a purse full of different prescriptions to get through her days and nights. In the short time speaking with her it was clear a basis to her depression was trying to move through this life as a square peg in a round hole. Daily becoming a mold which was expected rather than allowing who she was to just be the person seen in this world. Fearing if the true self was exposed for the intelligence she possessed, a shunning was felt from friends.co-workers and those in her life who chose to relate to a fabrication of her persona and while at the same time the struggle of living outside her truth of being had resulted in therapy and pills to take her thru the cycle of life.
Decades ago when my girls were babies, I found myself in a position of needing public assistance.One morning I awoke and dressed the girls and myself to our presentable best and then went into the local social services office for assistance. Immediately, I recognized the social worker assigned to assisting us was becoming very withdrawn from helping. By the time the interview was over, all facts were presented - she looked at us and stated my family was not in need.Seriously? No means of income at the time and we did not qualify? I picked up my babies, went to the parking lot and backed out of my space. In some even more twisted fate, I backed into her VW behind my car. Running from the building and screaming at me about hitting her car and at the same time told me to go home to wherever I really lived and take care of myself?
I thought about her that day and came to the conclusion she would be more receptive if I chose to be more vulnerable and needing of her assistance. Two days later, we dressed down so to speak and went to another office for the same assistance, same information was given and services were granted immediately based on my choice to dummy down my speech and method of interacting and showing up in less desirable of appearance. Instead of being the square peg, I muted to the circle.Judgment was made on myself at a level which the worker could relate to. I wasn't proud of myself that day, but changing the mold was the key to acceptance.
In the course of life, two of my greatest fears have been to really express that I do have a mind which is not the square peg and over exposing myself in life. The other night a friend of mine said "you are life a Jenga puzzle with a couple pieces missing?" I knew exactly what she was talking about and that is something I have to bring into a more complete form.
Robin Williams died this week from hanging himself. The man who brought so many smiles to remembered and yet carried a disease at the same time, which chronic can lead to death by suicide. When I heard the news I thought back immediately to John Belushi and the night he died knowing Robin was one of the last people to spend time with him that night, then I thought of the movie he made where his wife committed suicide - and with his untimely death afterwards he went on a search in the afterlife to find her. Realizing that heaven was what you create rather than preformed to specific molds and all square pegs could fit in the round holes when the judgement left his new reality.
Do I believe Robin Williams is now existing in hell for his actions on leaving? No. Depression is a disease and can you really believe God or this universe would condemn a soul to heaven due to the outcome of disease? Not the universe I know. Suicide has touched the people in my life more than a few times. Possibly one the roughest exits for the remaining to find peace with. Some could even say it was the out of a coward. Robin Williams was very far from peace in this world and now only he knows the peace he can create - all things are possible. When we look at another, see the person who really exist and take the time to accept the mold this person was born to be - rather than the mold you choose to see. Our world is not black and white or even grey. Our world consist of all colors, universal souls here to experience each other in truth - not in the truth assigned to be. For each person you can truly see as choosing to be the highest of who they are not the mold he world has chosen for each to be - Depression can be fought on levels of one soul at a time,and this disease can be freed from the being. When somebody reaches out - reach back without expectations.
In the cycle of life, you just might save one. Life should not be square pegs in round holes, life should be those labeled as such to be set free, colors of the soul in true hue, for me and you.
Decades ago when my girls were babies, I found myself in a position of needing public assistance.One morning I awoke and dressed the girls and myself to our presentable best and then went into the local social services office for assistance. Immediately, I recognized the social worker assigned to assisting us was becoming very withdrawn from helping. By the time the interview was over, all facts were presented - she looked at us and stated my family was not in need.Seriously? No means of income at the time and we did not qualify? I picked up my babies, went to the parking lot and backed out of my space. In some even more twisted fate, I backed into her VW behind my car. Running from the building and screaming at me about hitting her car and at the same time told me to go home to wherever I really lived and take care of myself?
I thought about her that day and came to the conclusion she would be more receptive if I chose to be more vulnerable and needing of her assistance. Two days later, we dressed down so to speak and went to another office for the same assistance, same information was given and services were granted immediately based on my choice to dummy down my speech and method of interacting and showing up in less desirable of appearance. Instead of being the square peg, I muted to the circle.Judgment was made on myself at a level which the worker could relate to. I wasn't proud of myself that day, but changing the mold was the key to acceptance.
In the course of life, two of my greatest fears have been to really express that I do have a mind which is not the square peg and over exposing myself in life. The other night a friend of mine said "you are life a Jenga puzzle with a couple pieces missing?" I knew exactly what she was talking about and that is something I have to bring into a more complete form.
Robin Williams died this week from hanging himself. The man who brought so many smiles to remembered and yet carried a disease at the same time, which chronic can lead to death by suicide. When I heard the news I thought back immediately to John Belushi and the night he died knowing Robin was one of the last people to spend time with him that night, then I thought of the movie he made where his wife committed suicide - and with his untimely death afterwards he went on a search in the afterlife to find her. Realizing that heaven was what you create rather than preformed to specific molds and all square pegs could fit in the round holes when the judgement left his new reality.
Do I believe Robin Williams is now existing in hell for his actions on leaving? No. Depression is a disease and can you really believe God or this universe would condemn a soul to heaven due to the outcome of disease? Not the universe I know. Suicide has touched the people in my life more than a few times. Possibly one the roughest exits for the remaining to find peace with. Some could even say it was the out of a coward. Robin Williams was very far from peace in this world and now only he knows the peace he can create - all things are possible. When we look at another, see the person who really exist and take the time to accept the mold this person was born to be - rather than the mold you choose to see. Our world is not black and white or even grey. Our world consist of all colors, universal souls here to experience each other in truth - not in the truth assigned to be. For each person you can truly see as choosing to be the highest of who they are not the mold he world has chosen for each to be - Depression can be fought on levels of one soul at a time,and this disease can be freed from the being. When somebody reaches out - reach back without expectations.
In the cycle of life, you just might save one. Life should not be square pegs in round holes, life should be those labeled as such to be set free, colors of the soul in true hue, for me and you.
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