Who are you and where have you gone?

 

Many years ago standing in a grocery line conversing with a cashier and suddenly feeling like I was at the opposite end of a tunnel, and trying to interpret far away words. Or, driving and having a sense of losing the depth perception on the road, prompted myself to see a local neurologist and in turn, I was sent for a MRI. Not being one of the most pleasant of choices and afterwards I waited as images were studied. After what could have been a few minutes and seemed like an hour, a doctor came to where I was and although he had few words, a few words were understood. Just calmly stating I did not have a brain tumor or any abnormalities concerning the brain tissue – I was just wired very different. He told me to the best of his knowledge this would not be physically detrimental, though medicine could dull the mind and possible eliminate the effects.

Hmm, was dulling the mind the answer? I chose to forego the medicinal root and take an understanding and accepting root of learning on how to work with what would be found as slipping into alternate states without conscious control. I needed to learn how to control the entrance and exit at my choosing rather than my mind/body/spirit playing a free for all while I experienced life from the sideline in some form. Over the years I have became more of a conscious referee rather than the observer without control of my own self. Some states I still seem to have limited control, such as when a thought comes into my mind and suddenly you are pulled so deep into the thought – in this world you appear to be sleeping and yet very conscious within the process of the thought. Part of life, as being thought processing in another form.

Learning that ego is not, your foe unless you relinquish control in allowing what is outside of yourself to lead thought processing away from your own true inner guidance. Earlier I posted a clip from Stephen Hawkings documentary from Netflix. Though the piece really did hold revelations in content, portraying the complexities of the human mind was creatively examined. I have long believed our truth comes from the inner of who we are. All else is outside influence and how we choose to allow and accept the outside influence to speak to our energy. In the 90's and early 2000's spiritual gurus really became prominent in being a select few who for very large amounts of money at times, promised to uplift you in ways thought to be impossible otherwise. In the process very handsomely if the term applies, for a fee would enlighten another which was given freely to the source of who they were. Just enough to take another a step higher, though not quite enough to complete the staircase without further investment.

This universe itself will provide for all your needs, desires and aspirations – though another speaking to your energy will not complete your task. Self-demonstration to this universe in taking the thought processing which is given, developing a trust from within and a faith which can move beyond influence of our world, society or ego in establishing your inner faith as being of who you are – brings the alignment and self awareness which cannot be purchased from an outside source.

In the biblical parable of the Pentecost, Simon observed from the outside and offered to purchase in order to be of the same inside – how did that go for him? If the source of this universe could post a sign, it just might be "Not for sale – you already own it." Having the trust to accept and allow your ownership is a key in being the proprietor of your own soul, choice of destiny and self-demonstration of the inner to an outer world. There is nowhere to go, no place you have to be or another who can take you further – than you, come home to who you are. You have been waiting for your return.